Come and visit!

"Come and visit!"

There was a time when those words were taken up, before their echo ever reached the walls of the room - those were the times of the Ottoman Istanbul. I recall those sparkly, curious and interested eyes inquiring about the life at the gates of the Asian world. Those days were the days of visitors, every trimester and an entire program was prepared around them, including public transports such as the dolmus (mini buses), walks around the city for hours and if you have a baby with you, hundreds of occasional "Mashallah, cok tatlı sana" ('Thank God for making this happen', you are very sweet) as people pinch their cheeks. The language was accessible thanks to the Latin alphabet and readings and conversations were easier to sustain.

4 years of happiness, swimming at will in our compound, overlooking the Black Sea, a sight breathtaking to any visitor.

And then, in the blink of a move, visiting stopped and the lights that had once burnt with panache were extinguished at the sound of the new destination: the dreadful Cairo.

What would we do, if you, my dear friends, would come and visit?

Well, you would have to embrace the cultural impact, because unlike the lovely comfort of Europe, there are several things that will certainly upset you.

Indeed, the roads here and the driving culture are horrendous, all around Egypt. We could sit and argue about it until the end of time, yet there is nothing we can do. So, as you would arrive at Cairo airport, stepping out of the baggage gate, and once you have crossed the innumerous amount of concerned taxi drivers offering you a taxi, you will probably find Ahmed, or Mahmoud, or Ashraf, the drivers we use daily. They will be expecting you at the door with your name on the sign and I trust they will take good care of you until you reach my home, after about an hour (Inshallah) from the airport. On your way back, Cairo will reveal itself to you, with all his sandy coloured buildings and welded wires sticking out - its garbage laying around, where the donkeys share the highways with cars and mini buses and you might catch a glimpse of Khufu, my redeemer. 

Once you arrive, we shall relax and enjoy the tranquil and quiet welcoming party that my Buls will throw you and we will discuss your first impressions.

A good plan would be to visit Giza, as a starting point. After a thirty minutes taxi ride, we could enter the belly of Khufu and descend into several other tombs or stare at the Riddler eyes together. You will like that, it would give you awe, for a few minutes but those are precious. If we are lucky, we will be followed around by a bunch of local children, wearing the most colourful garments and curious to hear your name, eager for you to photograph them with their friends.

The best suggestion is to come for 2 weeks, so that we can organise a 5 days Nile Cruise for you, which would be very enjoyable, since most tourists have deserted Upper Egypt (with the exceptions of the birds, who have nested every temple's wall, singing in unison) and most of them will be empty, for your full appreciation.

And after your visit, why don't we plan a brunch in the desert, near Saqqara, the first pyramid ever built! You may meet Hossam, who has the most amazing smiling wrinkles ever granted to a man's face.

I would insist we visit Mokattam, in other words Garbage city. You will need to prepare yourself to witness another level of living, another mean to an end and welcome the brightest smiles. We would visit the Association of Protection for the Environment, the training areas, the recycling units, the sorting out, the shops where your money supports a group of working ladies, and their education. As we exit the Zabaleen area, it is a sense of satisfaction that will wrap itself around you, for agreeing to leave the comfort of your first world and discovering how things work here in Egypt, in an unpatronising way.

If you wanted to, Dahab and the Rea Sea would also be on our agenda, for you to feel the weightlessness and the quietness that your whole soul can experience under water; I would recommend a sunrise or sunset dive in the Canyon, for you to see another beauty of this country.

Once we have experienced the liquid element, a night in the whale bone desert would be a wonderful addition, to reflect under a sky lit with stars at the incredible signification of our lives on the planet and how little time Chronos has granted us.

But would you like this, my dear friends?

To dwell in garbage to fully appreciate what you have? To be stuck in traffic and fear for your lives during some rides? To be unsure of the possibility of Health care emergency services, as the pace of this country is unknown, even to its own people? To experience the third world inconvenience of power cuts, water shortage and internet complete unreliability? The incredible frustration of not being able to read or make sense of the language? The frequent reminder that you are a foreigner, by the way people lay their eyes on you or try to get to your money?

My friends, how would you have reacted when I saw a little boy's leg being slashed by a rope that was supposed to mark the streets (that are being destroyed and rebuild in front of my compound) and was pulled away violently by a car?

Will you judge us for having agreed to come here and stay, returning to your safe heavens, pitying us?

So, how's life in Cairo? Why don't you come and see for yourself...!